


This is Letting Go

by Trickster_Angel



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Lucille Harewood after her father died and Khan saved her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Letting Go

She walks down the long hallway, the sound of her heels echoing in the large chamber.  She is alone and her shoes make the only sound.

The capsules line the passageways and she stares at every one of their faces. They look surprisingly serene.  She’s studied their history and is surprised at how calm they look. Hardly a care in the world anymore.  She feels like she is in a morgue and all these bodies are being lined up to ship out.  But that’s not what she’s here to do and she presses onward.

She notices the features of the people.  This one is a woman with short hair and full lips. That man’s hair is so light, it is almost white. This man’s face is thin; she wonders if he is actually dead. But she knows he isn’t. She wishes she could see the eyes of these people as her journey would be much swifter.

For super-soldiers, she’d expected more uniformity in their appearances. This woman has long hair while this one has a pixie cut. This man has some stubble while this one is clean shaven. Despite their purpose, she reasons, they are all individuals, so maybe it isn’t as surprising as she had originally thought.

She walks through and admires all seventy-two people in the room until she finally finds the man she is looking for. She’s seen pictures, been told stories, and know that this is the man.

She sits down, making sure her short skirt doesn’t ride up in the process. She watches the man’s face for a good minute, trying to catalogue any signs of movement but there are none. The capsule in doing its job and the man remains asleep.

“You wouldn’t remember me,” she says slowly, “I don’t remember you. I never met you.”  The man’s eyes remain closed and she continues, “Twenty years ago, I was lying in a hospital bed, much like the way you are lying in that capsule now.  You told my father you’d save me for the price of his and others’ lives. And he did it, the fool.” She sighs wistfully.

“I don’t like you. I know everything that you have done. You are a homicidal manic. You hurt so many innocent people to further your goal. You killed Admiral Marcus and Admiral Pike.”  She looks sadly at the sleeping man. She almost wants to touch his face, he is so beautiful, but she knows better than to try that. “But I can’t hate you either. At the end of the day, I am alive, because of you.”  She waits to see if he will awaken, but he doesn’t.

“I came to make peace with my past. My mother is dead and you are the last piece of the puzzle. I’ve come to say good bye.” She pauses, as if the words are caught in her throat. A moment later she continues, “I studied you and your family in my spare time. I looked at Dr. McCoy’s notes. I read all the reports about you. I’m an expert on you. And I’m a doctor as well. I know what’s in your blood and I know how to save others who are like what I once was. I want to, but you’re too dangerous. I could never control you.”  She’s frustrated by this man. Here he lies, peacefully, when together, they could help people. Her knowledge and abilities could be put to good use, if only he wouldn’t kill her the second he was awakened. Sometimes, when she has these thoughts, she is angry with herself, for being selfish enough to use this man. Some part of her tells her it would be for the greater good. Another part tells her that if she does, then she is no better than he is. She’d manipulate him as he manipulated her father. These feelings are what she must let go of.

“I’m leaving,” she tells the unresponsive man, “I’m going far, far away, and I never want to think of you again. So this is goodbye Khan. I hate you for killing my father.” She paused. “Thank you for giving me life.”

Lucille Harewood stands up slowly, still watching for Khan’s face to shift. She expects his ice blue eyes to snap open, for him to say her name, as if they were once close. But that doesn’t happen. He remains as still as before.

Lucille turns her back to him, ready to walk away. She takes a few steps forward. But she can’t stop herself. Just to say goodbye, she turns to look upon the man for the last time. She can just make out the ghost of a smile on his face that she was positive wasn’t there before.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from This is Letting Go by Rise Against


End file.
